Aloha Healing 10/09/2015

waning moon Lono
Māhoe Hope 9

I went on a walk with my dear friend Oliver Bock at Rancho San Antonio Open Space Preserve. In the parking lot, we decided to do our normal hike barefooted in order to get in touch with the ‘âina (land).

Oliver shared that he enjoyed an entire summer when he was a kid without wearing shoes (he also slept outdoors every night of that summer). What a “vacation” that must have been, although he said that he wasn’t allowed to go to a lot of places like movie theaters.

On the walk, I started getting jabbed by tons of tiny sharp rocks. Oliver said, “try to relax your feet as much as possible. Let them be soft in knowing that the rocks probably won’t pierce all the way through the skin.” This helped immensely.

feetWhat a wonderful metaphor for dealing with others. What if we just relaxed when people verbally attack us, knowing that they won’t pierce our sole/soul? I immediately put this into practice when we passed an older couple. The woman’s jaw dropped when she noticed that we weren’t wearing shoes. When I smiled and said hello, she wrinkled up her face without returning the salutation.

Normally, this type of judgement would chap my skin, but I just relaxed and let it poke for an instant, knowing that it couldn’t touch the love and interconnection at the seat of our soul. I could almost feel love for this woman. She was suffering in judgement–her face was contorted and she refused the friendliness of two open-hearted strangers.

Oliver and I plan to keep hiking barefoot. I plan to keep relaxing into rocky relationships with love.

cloudsAt the end of the walk, Oliver washed my feet under a faucet. It was an endearing and memorable gesture. So grateful for the beautiful souls that have chosen to walk this path with me.


I’m going pretty raw, except for oatmeal. I’m also trying to sense into the natural urges in my body. For example, I had the urge/thought for figs. The only figs I could find at the farmer’s market were dried mission figs. Dried fruit is a no no on the cancer diet since it has so much concentrated sugar.

I decided to honor my craving and later found out that figs contain a cancer-fighting compound called psoralen. I eat these figs with fresh raw organic walnuts that also have been shown to decrease colon tumor growth. So maybe my body was trying to tell me something with this craving.


Had a full day with morning prayers, exercises and hiking barefoot. I feel so much better when I do my full regimen of morning prayers and movements outdoors. I also did qigong walking.


I’m finding it challenging when I have to deal with people who still see me as I was in the past. They don’t seem to see the me of the present. I know I have to let go of this feeling of injustice. So many of my friends see and love who I am now. It just stings when family members can’t or refuse to be present with me.


Clearing very subtle emotions and injuries. Learning to stay relaxed when being poked, knowing that my soul will always be intact.

Kūkae (BM)

The bleeding has come back, although it is a different form. Seems like my bloody BMs are more heavy, coagulated sediment rather than liquid blood.

I’m also aware that the moon is almost a new moon, so bleeding might reflect that.

Aloha Healing 10/7/2015

moon Kâloa Pau
Māhoe Hope 7

I missed a few posts. I’ve decided that I will try to post everyday, but if I’m too tired, then I need to honor my body. Mâlama ko’u kino (Take care of my body)

Last few days have been really healing. I feel more energy and flow. I also continue to ground myself with the ‘âina (land).


Added Beta 1.3D Glucan to my protocol. My dear cousin-by-marriage-friend-by-divorce, Mitch McCoy sent me a link to Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center database of herbs and botanicals. Many of the treatments I am using are listed–mangosteen, milk thistle, turmeric, ashwagandha, green tea, and moringa.

On this website by one of the biggest cancer treatment hospitals in America, most of these alternative treatments say something like “lab and animal studies show that Moringa extracts have anticancer effects. Human data are lacking.” Many of the initial studies were done nearly 10 years ago, which leads me to the question, “why isn’t anyone testing these herbs and natural treatments on humans?”

My dear wife has been combing through clinical trials to try to find anything that is not drug related. There are a number of free clinical trials for rectal cancer, but they all involve chemo, radiation, or drugs.

So researchers are willing to try dangerous drugs on desperate or poor patients, yet they are not willing to do any clinical trials on natural herbs that have been proven to have no deleterious effects on the patient.

I’m not a conspiracy nut, but the obvious link between big Pharma, the FDA, and Allopathic medicine almost ensures that natural treatment gets ignored and drug therapy, that we have been using for decades with no decrease in cancer, gets all the attention and money.

As Robert Wright says, “Cancer is about power and money.” Cancer is big business. No one is going to fund a clinical trial that shows how carrot juice can cure cancer because Big Pharma can’t make money off carrots that can be bought at the grocery store for less than a dollar.

All this research gives me more confidence that these alternative, natural treatments work even though there are no clinical trials on humans.


Been walking the boys and dog to school everyday. It feels good to share time and fresh air with the boys.


I got a bit upset when I heard about members of my family calling me crazy for not doing chemo, radiation, and surgery. It is amazing how laypeople who know nothing about cancer are convinced that the best (and only) treatment for cancer is what conventional medicine “advertises” in the media.

One of my friends asked my cousin what I was doing to treat the cancer and she said, “Some crazy alternative stuff.” I haven’t talked to this cousin since I got my diagnosis. She doesn’t know what I am doing. I find it shocking how people judge my actions without even talking to me.

I know I have to let this go. People are going to judge, misunderstand, and gossip. What I”m going to make an intention to focus on is how my friend supported my decisions after talking to me for an hour. I also appreciate everyone who follows this blog, sends positive energy, gives constructive criticism, and unconditional love.


Learning to clear any conflict in my body, mind, and life.

Kūkae (BM)

Entering a new phase where I have large BMs in the morning with little or no blood. Very few BMs during the day. Then small blood and sediment BMs in the evening.

Overall, the bleeding has been noticeably less over the past few days.

Aloha Healing 10/5/2015

moon_day_WanC_40 Kâloa Kû Kahi
Māhoe Hope 5

Spent most of the day trying to track down soft-shell turtles. My qigong master swears by eating soft-shell turtles to reverse cancer and tumor growth.

After watching a man hack up a live soft-shelled turtle in San Francisco Chinatown, I was already queasy before I started cooking up the soup. Upon letting it boil for 3 hours, I realized that I didn’t wash the turtle before I dropped it in the pot. turtlePart of me wants to trash the whole turtle and idea, but it cost me $67 and my qigong master would be disappointed, so I have it in the fridge. Not sure what I will do with it in the next few days. If anyone knows about the medicinal properties of soft-shelled turtle let me know.


A member of my men’s group informed me that vanilla extract contains alcohol, so the raw vegan chocolate sauce I made and ate the other night contained another cancer no no.

I’m finding that any deviation from the anti-cancer diet has immediate effects on my body. I ate a handful of dried veggie chips last night and felt bloated until the morning, although that might have been caused by the turtle soup on my stove.


Did full prayers and movements in the morning followed by lots of walking in San Francisco. My energy levels get better everyday.


Hung out with my older brother in San Francisco all day. We talked about our mom, our childhoods, and how we coped with abuse in different ways. Then I had men’s group in the evening where the same topics came up with a completely different set of individuals.

So much healing is unleashed when we try to understand and forgive our parents.


Still trying to be attentive to intuitive guidance and have the courage to follow it. I’m really struggling with this turtle soup dilemma.

Kūkae (BM)

Blood again today, but not as much.

Aloha Healing 10/4/2015

moon_day_last ‘Ole Kû Pau
Māhoe Hope 4

Had “The Talk” with my mom this morning. And it was…beautiful.

At one point I asked her how she could let her child get beaten in front of her eyes.

She said that she sometimes tried to pull my step-father off of me, but he would shove her away. She also shared that she would often cry afterwards or blame herself for what happened because she had said something that caused the beatings.

When I heard these confessions, I remembered times when my mom was crying after I got beaten. I also vaguely remember her trying to pull my step-father off of me.

She also said that she would try to talk to my step-father afterwards and tell him that it was too much, but he wouldn’t listen. She even told him that he needed anger management work, but he said that she didn’t know what she was talking about.

It felt good to know that my mother was trying to help me. I thanked her and told her that I loved her.

Later in the evening, in a healing session with Roma Hammel, I told Roma about the talk with my mother. She stopped me mid-sentence and said, “Where are you in your body right now?”

I was no where to be found–all mind, all talk. She then lead me back into my body to “restore to life” that inner child that had learned to dissociate in order to protect himself. I was trying to resuscitate him, but I wasn’t present enough in my own body to blow life back into him.

Roma asked me about when I felt most alive. I told her about a wave I caught while in college at UCSB. It was a huge day at Campus Point, and I pulled into a gaping barreling right. I was so far back in the tube that I instinctually reached my right hand forward which shifted the weight on my surfboard. The foam ball inside the tube came up under my board and shoved me out of the barreling wave.

After I told this story in the present tense as if it was happening right now, my whole body was buzzing with excitement, adrenaline, and aliveness.

“That is the way I want you to bring that young child back to life,” Roma said. “Just like that wave, I want you to shove him gently back into embodiment.”

We went and found the inner child again, and I breathed strong breaths into his body. I pulled him to my heart and let him feel my love.

When he came back to life, we let him vent his anger: “Stop. Never again! Don’t touch me,” we screamed.

Then I cradled him again and told him how I would protect him and never leave him. How I loved him: “Thank you for all the love and joy you bring into my life,” I whispered.

At a certain point that child that I was cradling became me. Roma asked if I wanted to lay on the floor. So I laid down in the fetal position. She covered me with blankets and stroked my back, legs, and hair. After sometime, she left the room, “You can stay here as long as you want, even hours.”

I lay there reliving so many amazing experiences in my life. It felt like I was sharing these experiences with that child who had missed out because he was numb or asleep. After about 45 minutes, I opened my eyes and the whole room looked different. I saw colors and shapes I had never seen before, even though I had been in this room dozens of times. My body felt different as well.

Roma came back and asked me to tell me my name, “Marshall Makala Kozo Hattori,” I said.

“Say it like the warrior that you are,” Roma replied.

“Marshall Makala Kozo Hattori,” I roared.

“Yes, embody that gentle warrior. Be fully present and substantive to who you are,” she said.

“What is up for you now?” Roma asked.

When I told her how i was going to continue blogging and sharing this dis-ease to help and heal others, she said, “You are contracting again. Do you feel that? We tend to revert back to our old habits. Fully inhabit who you are.”

I was reminded of an experience I had at the healing ceremony with Michael. Michael asked if anyone wanted to share a prayer, so I started chanting a Hawaiian oli–E ala E. On the second time through, I felt the presence of powerful ancestors behind me chanting through my body and mouth.

After the ceremony, everyone shared that how much power they felt when I invoked Hawaiian spirits into the space.

What I am realizing is that I need to embody those ‘aumakua, as well as the ‘unihipili (child/unconscious spirit in Morrnah Simeona’s ho’oponopono practice) at all times.

Like the sun, I must shine brightly no matter how dark the clouds. The oli, E ala e, is actually a sunrise prayer that means “Arise! Awaken!”

So grateful for all the Light, Love, and Wisdom I was shone today.

When I was leaving my mom’s house, she said, “Well, I hope everything turns out ok.”

“It already has, mom,” I said truthfully.


Raw foods and juices with oatmeal. I’m really enjoying the flax seed crackers I dehydrated.


Did morning prayers before heading to my mom’s. While saying the St. Francis prayer, I couldn’t remember the third line, even though I say this prayer every day.

Finally it dawned on me walking back to my car, “Lord make me an instrument of thy peace. Where there is hatred, let me sow love. Where there is injury, pardon.”

This reminded me of why I was going to my mom’s house.

Later in the afternoon, I took a nap then swam 7 laps in the pool. In the peak of summer I was swimming 10 laps, so I feel pretty good about doing 7 today.


So much love and connection with my mom and my younger self. I feel loved and loving.


I’m learning to balance compassion with power and presence. I want to continue emitting Light and Love through each and every cell in my body. Embodied awakening is a moment by moment practice.

Kūkae (BM)

7:30 AM small sediment and a little blood followed by large “hot” BM with no blood

1:40 PM liquidy BM with blood

5:00 PM small BM with blood

6:40 PM small BM, mostly blood

The blood came back today, but not nearly as much or as frequent as before. Staying patient and observant. I’m kind of curious what each day brings.

Aloha Healing 10/3/2015

moon_day_last ‘Ole Kû Lua
Māhoe Hope 3


Had 4 beautiful raw meals today including flaxseed chip nachos, fresh salad, raw daikon rice sushi roles, and fresh squeezed vegetable juice.

THEN, I found a recipe for raw chocolate sauce in my raw foods cookbook. While blending the ingredients I knew that this was not what I need at this point in time, even though there was no processed sugar in the sauce. The look and the smell, however, were irresistible, so I poured some over some figs and walnuts and chowed down.

While eating the dessert, I inquired why I was doing this. Could it be I needed love and sweetness in my life? Was it because a loved one said something really mean to me today? Or did I just need a reward for all the dietary restrictions I have been upholding?

What is done is done. I’m not going to beat myself up about it, but I am going to remember how the experience of eating the chocolate sauce isn’t worth all the mind and body dis-ease I’m experiencing.


Did morning prayers and movements this morning and 20 minutes of qigong walking. Took a nap in the afternoon while my sons watched an episode of “Once Upon a Time.” Then hiked up a 1.5 mile steep redwood trail with my 5 year old son on my back the whole way. I told my friend that 2 weeks ago, there was no way I would have been able to hike up this trail, much less carrying a 40 pound child. I’m feeling stronger and healthier everyday.


Got to spend quality time with my sons and some close friends. Grateful for that.


I was telling my friend that I feel like I’m going with the flow of a river that includes spiritual, nutritional, medicinal, psychological, financial, and relational currents. They all seem to be flowing in the same direction–Let go without fear, stop clinging to illusions of security, love what is as it is, keeping giving and serving.

Kūkae (BM)

7 AM mostly sediment with a little blood and BM

9:15 AM Med-large BM with very little blood.

10 AM small BM with no blood

11:10 small soupy BM with no blood

3:20 Blood and sediment

Having interspersed bleeding which hopefully indicates healing.

Aloha Healing 10/2/2015

moon_day_WanG_65 ‘Ole Kû Kahi
Māhoe Hope 2

Boys got off early for parent conferences, so I hung out with them all day.


Made guacamole, salsa, and salad for lunch. Had endive leafs with raw marinara and hummus for dinner. Raw foods is becoming a habit. Today I’m dehydrating flax seed crackers.


Did some qigong walking and morning prayers. I seem to have more energy nowadays. I still get sleepy in the afternoon, but it is not fatigue. I am able to run around, climb stairs, do exercises, and take care of boys without getting exhausted. I’m also sleeping better–full 8 hours.


Trying to keep calm with difficult others. Trying to empathize with others–feel into their dis-ease. My dis-ease seems to have brought me more humility and compassion.


Really letting go of any need for future security. If I cannot afford some treatments, so be it. I will make do with what the Universe provides. If this leads to an early check out, so be it. Everything is a blessing.

Kūkae (BM)

ONLY 2 BMs yesterday and very little blood!!!

6:30 AM 1 piece of sediment with very little blood

7:20 AM Large BM (large in duration, not size) with little blood. This was a “hot” BM. I have been eating a lot of spicy food lately. Many of the raw recipes have jalapeno peppers in them. I’m also drinking Moringa every morning which is pretty spicy. I am sensing that spicy food kills parasites (which are associated with a weak immune system).

Alison can confirm, but I have traveled to many places where parasites and food poisoning are prevalent, and they all seem to eat spicy food. The locals can tolerate really spicy food, and rarely seem to get food poisoning or, I assume, parasites.

I’m a bit concerned that these hot BMs will irritate the rectal tumor, but I haven’t experienced that yet. In fact, the bleeding and BMs are slowing down. I’m sensing into the possibility that the tumor is no longer there or shrinking.

Aloha Healing 10/1/2015

moonLâ’au Pau
Māhoe Hope 1

Today was a day of patience. Not much happening. Lost some financial support.


Raw foods and oatmeal. I did eat organic hummus with cucumber slices. Not sure if hummus is on the anti-cancer diet, but my body called for it.


Did about 20 minutes of qiqong walking. Also, spent a lot of time in the sunshine. Got tired in the afternoon and had to take a nap. Overall, though, energy levels are pretty high. I don’t get tired walking up stairs anymore.


One of my key relationships told me that they couldn’t support me and my treatments today. I’m learning to accept what is. We think that people will support us, but they don’t. We think that our mothers will protect us, but they don’t. Trying not to live in what I think should happen, and instead, live in what is happening.



Ahonui (patience) is calling. The whole day was asking me to be patient. I’d give myself a B+.

Kūkae (BM)

Some more blood today, although I still saw more sediment without much blood. Forgot to take a note card to keep track of BMs.