After 47 years of in the field research, I can honestly say that I have the smallest adult penis I have ever seen.
I will not bore you with the thousands of hours scanning locker rooms, gauging public showers, and peaking over urinal partitions. Two examples should suffice.
“I’d be happy with 4 inches”
When I was in college, I went on a ski trip with my beautiful blonde girlfriend. At her parent’s cabin, we ended up watching a comedy show with her older brother. On the show, Sam Kinison was joking about how women should be satisfied with his 4 inch penis.
“Are you satisfied with 4 inches?” my girlfriend’s brother asked.
“I’d be HAPPY with 4 inches,” quipped my girlfriend.
Of course, she gave me a hug and said that she was kidding, but you know what they say about all jokes containing a bit of truth–in this case, a very small bit.
In the Land of Small Penises
Years later, I went to Japan, the land of the small penis. A close friend picked me up at the airport and took me with a bunch of his surfer friends to a furo, a Japanese bathhouse.
Like all my previous visits to public showers, I came out of the locker room in my boardshorts.
“You can’t wear those in here,” my friend laughed. “You have to be naked.”
Great. Naked with a bunch of guys I had just met. But I figured that we were all of Japanese descent, so it couldn’t be that bad.
When I entered the bathhouse, I quickly realized that I was not only small in America, but Japan as well. My friend and his buddies looked at me with that combination of sympathy and awe that I had learned to recognize over the years. Needless to say, I did not find anyone in Japan who I could belittle.
What a small penis can do for you
Having to live an entire life with a small penis, I have learned to look for the silver lining. As counter-intuitive as it sounds, there are benefits to being under-endowed.
- Ego Check I’ve always had a huge ego. I thought I was so cool in high school. All the music I listened to was not only the coolest music, but I had discovered it first. “Duran Duran. I was listening to them when they were just called Duran.”When I was a surfer in college, I thought that anyone who didn’t surf was clueless. Even today, I catch myself looking at others with condescending thoughts of “you should meditate.”But whenever my ego gets too inflated, I back off because I know that my whole world could be shattered with the exposure of one pin-sized prick. This ego check helps me get along others. No one likes an egomaniac.
- Self-Love I’m not referring to the necessity for men with small penises to make love to themselves because they fear being rejected by women. I’m referring to self-compassion.When we recognize our inadequacies, yet are able to find something in ourselves worth loving, we come to a powerful place of acceptance and gratitude.At one point, I just told myself, “I love how small I am.” I learned that the only person who can truly make me feel inadequate was myself.
- I know my wife loves me Unlike other men, I never have to question whether my wife married me for great sex. Since I’m positive that she didn’t marry me for money as well, I can be pretty sure that she loves me for who I am, not how big a man I am.
I’ve heard all kinds of men complain how they get rashes from friction or accidentally catch the tip of their member in their clothing. The best example is the zipper scene in There’s Something About Mary. I never have to worry about getting “the beans above the frank.” In fact, I have tons of room in pretty much any pair of jeans, even the tight fitting ones.
- Transcendence of the Material World The more relationships I have with beautiful, intelligent, loving women, the more I realize that size really doesn’t matter. The material world often dominates our thoughts, but the truth is that what really matters cannot be seen or touched–kindness, compassion, love, and relationships. When I learned this “secret,” I focused less on trying to overcompensate for my penis size and more on being a kind, loving, and compassionate man. I have no idea how big my sons will be when they grow up, but I do know that they will be loved by others since they will love themselves and others without prejudice.
Although some may see me as an object of ridicule, I can honestly say that I see myself as “half-man/half-amazing.”
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Is there a silver lining to your inadequacies? Please share.
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