Aloha Healings 11/18/2015

first quarter moon ‘Ole Kû Kolu
Welehu 18

We took the boys to the beach the other weekend. Beautiful, warm fall day with no crowds. While watching the surfers, thoughts of jealousy arose. “I could have surfed that wave better.” “Why are claiming that wave, you didn’t do anything?”

I realized that these thoughts were spoiling a beautiful day with my family. Just then, I saw my youngest son running up the beach away from a breaking wave, screaming his lungs out with joy. I couldn’t help but smile.

I decided to step into sympathetic joy with everyone and everything around me. I felt the freedom and thrill of the seagulls skimming the water. I experienced the beginner’s mind of surfers learning how to stand up and turn their longboards. Suddenly, everything became a launching pad for joy and excitement.

Later, I made an intention to only have two responses to any interaction with another sentient being–sympathetic joy or compassion.

I have been practicing this new form of relationship with others for over a week now, and I am amazed at how wonderful, peaceful, and intimate life has become. When someone is rude to me, I step into compassion for their suffering. When someone is overjoyed, I share their jubilation. I can’t think of a better way to go through life.

I noticed that our shitzu, Skye, lives life like this. When one of my sons is crying or whining, Skye howls sympathetically. When we are laughing or excited, Skye barks or runs around in circles feeding off our joy.


Skye reminds me of a poem that has been circulating around mindfulness circles:

If you can sit quietly after difficult news…

If in financial downturns you remain perfectly calm…

If you see your neighbors travel to favorite places without a tinge of jealousy…

If you can happily eat whatever is put on your plate…

If you can love everyone around you unconditionally…

If you can always find contentment just where you are…

You are probably..

A dog.


Been really enjoying the combinations of veggies that I have been experimenting with. I bought some sauerkraut and made some veggie fajita and sauerkraut sushi the other day. I also made some yummy kale, red pepper, and black bean quinoa that I wrapped in lettuce leaves.


Everyday I seem to be getting stronger and stronger. In my morning movements I do a kind of chair pose called “punahou” (young spring). I have been holding this pose longer and longer every week.

A friend gave me a hug over the weekend and said that even though I haven’t gained any weight, my body has a different “texture.” He said that when I first started the juicing, fasting, and eating an all-vegetable diet, he got frightened when he hugged me because I was so skinny and frail. Now he feels strength and health when he hugs me.


Practicing mudita (sympathetic joy) and karunâ (compassion) has done wonder for all my relationships. Even while listening to the breaking reports about the terrorist attacks in Paris, all I could feel was compassion for both the victims and the attackers.


Had an interesting moment when I saw lots of tiny stars all around while sitting in the break room at work. My father-in-law said that is what chi looks like, but I’ve never experienced it indoors before.

Kūkae (BM)


7:30 AM Extra large BM (maybe biggest ever) BS

11 AM Med/Small BM

4:30 PM Small BM BS brown


8 PM small BM BS


12 AM tiny BS

6:30 AM BS

9:10 AM Small BM BS

10 AM Tiny BS

12 PM Tiny BS

6:30 PM BS

8 PM BS Small BM




6:30 PM BS Small BM

8 AM Large BM BS

10 AM Large BM little B

1 PM Med BM BS




6:30 AM Blood and sediment with small BM

7:30 AM Large BM BS

9 AM Large BM

2:20 PM Blood

6:30 PM BS

7:30 PM Blood and Sediment.with small BM


Lost data card


6 AM BS Large BM

8:30 AM Watery small BM


9:00 PM BS


7 AM Tiny BS Med/Lrg BM

8:40 AM BS brown

9:30 AM BS brown




8:40 AM Med BM

1 PM Med BM

6 PM small BM BS


9:30 PM BS


6:30 AM BS Small BM

7:30 AM BS Small BM

5:20 PM BS

9:30 PM BS Small BM


6 AM tiny BS Med BM

8 AM Lrg BM

10:11 AM Med BM

12:45 PM Med/Lrg BM tiny B

2 PM Small BM

3:30 PM Small/Med BM


10 PM BS

11 PM BS



6:15 AM BS

7:15 AM BS Large BM

9:10 AM Small/Med BM Little BS

6:30 PM BS

7:30 PM BS

8:30 PM BS

10 PM BS


3:30 AM BS

6:30 AM Tiny BS Large BM

7 AM Large BM

8:30 AM Small BM

9 AM Sm/Med BM

9:40 AM Small BM

3:20 PM tiny tiny sediment



Cancer and Judgment

moon Kâloa Pau
‘Ikuwâ 6

To many patients, cancer feels like a death sentence. Receiving a death sentence implies that one has been judged. I experienced cancer as a judgment, especially considering I don’t meet any of the risk factors for the type of cancer I was diagnosed with.

If I had gotten skin cancer, that would make sense. I spent decades surfing in the sun, and I grew up before sunscreen was available. But colorectal cancer comes out of left field. I don’t smoke, drink, eat meat or fast food, and have relatively little stress. In addition, I have done numerous colon cleanses, cleansing fasts, and eaten oatmeal for breakfast for over 30 years.

When I explained this to my oncologist, he said, “Sometimes you just get unlucky.” In my experience, luck has very little to do with anything, so I started to see this dis-ease as a judgment. Why would the Universe, God, or my body send me cancer?

In order to answer this question, I had to become aware of how I judge others. I used to constantly judge anyone in my presence. I would judge their athletic ability, intelligence, integrity, looks, and value.

The best example I can give are the thoughts I think while driving. If someone is not turning right at a red light, I usually assume that they don’t know the laws; are too timid to drive in America; are waiting to cross three lanes when they should just turn into the right lane then merge left once they are out of my way; or are just complete idiots. I constantly judge other drivers based on how fast they are going, how long they wait at stop lights, what kind of car they are driving, or what race, gender, and class they look like they belong to.

I assume that Mercedes and BMW drivers are going to be selfish in all their driving choices. I silently accuse drivers with Asian trinkets hanging from their rear view mirrors of being dangerous and untrustworthy (even though I’m Asian). I usually view women drivers as inferior, especially older Asian women, even though my mom is a very good driver.

This is just while I’m cruising down the road. When I enter any social situation, I start judging everyone and everything incessantly. Even in spiritual circles, I tend to think, “That person is such a hypocrite” or “they think they are enlightened, but they have so much ego.”

Luckily, one of the prayers I say every morning is the St. Francis Prayer: “…Oh Divine Master grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; to be understood, as to understand; to be loved, as to love. For it is in giving that we receive, pardoning that we are pardoned, and dying that we are born into eternal life.”

One morning, I understood that in order to pardon myself from this death sentence of cancer, I had to start pardoning others. I saw how the line “it is in giving that we receive” doesn’t just mean that we should give charitably, but also that we reap what we sow. If I constantly judge others negatively, then I, too, will be judged.

When I made a conscious effort to stop judging others, I felt my heart open. I had more compassion for those who were suffering so much that they felt the need to try to make me suffer. I also stopped judging myself for things I’ve done in the past or for judging others in the present.

When I dropped judgment, I lost the need to compare myself with others. I didn’t need to be more intelligent, more awakened, or more equanimous than others. Losing judgment helped me realize our connectedness. When I stopped trying to differentiate myself from others through judgment, I started to experience what Thich Nhat Hanh calls our fundamental “inter-being.”

At a recent fundraiser for Cancer Commons, I met a Maori man who told me “the only judgment we will experience is us judging ourselves on how we treated others.” If this is true, then this cancer diagnosis is me judging myself on how I treated others. The last few months have been a wake-up call to start treating others better.

The less I judge others and treat them with respect, the more I sense into the healing of my body, my relationships, and my spirit. From this perspective, what happens with the dis-ease in my intestinal track is of little consequence.

After a two hour intimate talk with my mother in which I released many judgments and resentments about her parenting decisions, she said to me, “I hope all this turns out well for you.”

“It already has, Mom,” I said with a smile.


Really enjoying my farmer’s market “organic” salads.I asked one of the farmers today at the market why she was not certified organic. She said that her husband uses compost to fertilize which is not certified organic. She also said that many organic farms use fertilizer and pesticide, but they are “organic” fertilizer and pesticide which often can be more toxic than non-organic. I also learned that farmers have to pay to fly the “organic” flag. She is a small farmer, so she refuses to pay.

Another farmer who has amazing walnuts said that the walnuts are organic since the only thing he does is water them, but he can’t call them organic because his grapes are not organic. A farm can’t be part organic and part non-organic.

I used to think that the organic stamp of approval was golden, but now I realize that “home grown” can often be more natural and healthy than certified organic. The lemons my mom grows are not organic, but I wouldn’t trade them for any lemon at Whole Foods.


Did more barefoot hiking with my dear friend, Oliver. Amazing how the ground changes texture after a good rain. You would think that it would be softer, but it was actually really rocky since a lot of the dust and fine sediment was washed away. We did find some nice soft, cool damp spots though. Life is amazing in its variety and diversity when we open ourselves up to it.


As you can see above, I’ve been trying to heal relationships with everyone by not judging so much. I’m experiencing so much more peace moment to moment.


It rained, so I did my prayers on an astroturf welcome mat on the balcony. Although it wasn’t as pure as in the park, it still felt good to feel the temperature and smell the rainy air. I realized that being outside is key, even if I am on the balcony.

Kūkae (BM)


6:30 AM small/medium BM

8 AM Small BM with no blood

9:15 AM Large BM

10:30 Large BM little blood

2 PM Medium BM little blood

9 PM sediment


1:30 AM Sediment

6:30 AM Blood and sediment. Small BM

7:28 AM Large BM tiny Blood and Sediment

9:45 AM Medium BM no blood

2:40 PM Tiny Sediment

10:00 PM Blood and Sediment.


5:30 PM Blood and sediment

7 AM Blood and sediment with medium BM

8:20 AM Medium BM Tiny Blood

9:30 AM Tiny Sediment

10:40 AM Small blood and sediment

2:30 PM Blood and sediment

9 PM Blood and sediment auburn


6:40 AM Blood and sediment with small BM

8:15 AM Medium BM w/blood and sediment

10:00 AM Small BM w/blood and sediment

3:30 PM Blood and sediment

5:30 PM Blood and sediment

6 PM Blood and Sediment.with small BM


2 AM Tiny Blood and Sediment.

7:30 AM Blood and Sediment.

8:10 AM Small BM w/Blood and sediment

9:15 AM Blood and sediment–Brown

2 PM Blood and sediment

8:00 PM Large amount of blood and sediment

Aloha Healings 10/20/2015

waxing Gibbous `Ole Kū Kolu
‘Ikuwâ 20

After a long conversation with a family member, I realized how much of a burden I have been on my family. From the loss of my job to embracing gift ecology to the cancer diagnosis, I have been a financial and emotional albatross for many of my loved ones.

I used to get upset with others when they treated me in ways that I perceived as insensitive. “Don’t you know that I have cancer?” I would think or say under my breath. Now I see that I have drained the emotional gas tanks of many of those around me. I am trying to deepen into my practice of akahai–kindness or dealing with others as if I were wearing white gloves, so I don’t stain, damage, or hurt them.

I have even had the thought that it would be better for everyone if I just died. I have a fairly large life insurance policy and all those who are anxious about my alternative treatments would be able to relax and say, “I told him to get the chemo, radiation, and surgery.” I know this is literally a “deadly thought,” but it has arisen.

The flip side is that I need to live a long life to make up for all the heartache and pain I have caused.

I also think about all the people I have met since my unemployment. For them, I have been a positive influence. I have continued to find the silver lining even in very dark skies.

I guess the lesson is that we don’t have any control over others feelings and emotions. We can only shine our light as authentically as possible. Some will react to this light as a threat, while others will see it as an invitation. Some may blame you for their stress or distress. Others may thank you for their joy and happiness. I constantly remind myself of the Ho`oponopono teaching that I am 100% responsible for whatever arises in my life.

The Ho`oponopono prayer covers all of the thoughts above: “I’m so sorry. Please forgive me. I love you. Thank you.” Those four statements clear all relational trespasses and forge bridges of lōkahi–unity, connectedness, unbrokenness. I guess I’m being asked to deepen into this prayer. I’m also reminded of what the angels told me during my Reiki session with Giovanni: “Don’t give up; you know better.”


Got off the turtle soup. Funny story–the night before I started drinking the soup, my sons were watching the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movie. In the movie, the bad guys are after the turtles to extract their blood which has powerful healing properties. I saw this as a sign, so I started drinking the soft-shell turtle soup.

After 2 days of profuse bleeding, I decided to stop. I realized that the real message was NOT to eat the turtles even if they have healing properties. My qigong master told me that the reason why I couldn’t just get soft-shell turtle powder at the herb store is because due to the rising economy in China, there is a shortage of soft-shell turtles. So the herb sellers are collecting the shells of turtles that have already been eaten to make the medicine. Seems to me that soft-shell turtles are heading for extinction, so I’m not going to participate in this slaughter, even if it means that I have to forgo the powerful medicinal properties.

Without the turtle, I have been pretty much raw, except for my morning oatmeal. I have also started drinking water from young coconuts. I also eat some of the meat from the coconut.


After the fatigue from the turtles, I started my morning prayers and movements again. I’m finding deep healing in both the movements and the vibrations of the prayers.

Did 5 minutes of straight laughing with my men’s group last night. It felt great. Laughter is great medicine.


As you can see above, I’ve been trying to empathize with those around me. It is a fine line to empathize while taking full responsibility of everything that arises in my field. The key seems to be not taking on the emotional baggage of others while trying to serve them.


Went to a memorial service for Trude Bock, the woman I used to do hospice care for. On the morning she passed, I decided to learn a Hawaiian chant called “E ala E.” Part of me felt like I should be spending quality time with Trude, but the night before I talked to another care giver and we agreed that Trude could live another year.

When I heard that she passed an hour after I left, I felt guilty  that I had not attended to her more that morning. But the Hawaiian prayer seemed almost God-sent: “Rise up/Awaken. The sun in the east. From the ocean, the deep ocean. Climbing to  heaven, the highest heaven. In the east, there is the sun. Arise/Awaken.” I chanted the prayer at Trude’s burial.

After the memorial service, I hopped in my car and the first song that came on was Kaukahi’s “E ala E”–a musical version of the prayer. It felt like Trude was talking to me or hugging me.

Also at the memorial service, I reconnected with another caretaker named Benedicta. When I told her about my diagnosis, she said to look at ways I haven’t forgiven myself. I sense there is something powerful there, but I’m not sure what I’m still holding against myself.

Kūkae (BM)

I seem to be alternating between days of cleansing out my colon and smaller BM days that consist of blood and sediment.


7 AM Blood and sediment

8 AM Medium BM w/blood

9:10 AM Large BM w/little blood

4 PM Sediment and blood with small BM

7 PM Small BM lots of blood

8 PM Blood and sediment


7 AM Blood and lots of sediment

8 AM Large/medium BM w/blood

11 AM Large BM w/little to no blood

4 PM Small BM w/blood


7 AM Blood and sediment

10 AM small BM

1:30 PM Blood and sediment

5:20 PM Blood and sediment

8:30 PM Blood and sediment


2:30 AM Blood and sediment

7:44 AM Tiny Blood and sediment

8:10 AM Blood and sediment with small BM

10 AM Blood and sediment with small BM

6 PM Blood and sediment


7:10 AM Blood and sediment with large BM

9:30 AM Huge BM with no blood


6:30 AM Blood and sediment

8:10 AM Medium BM Blood and sediment

8:40 AM Medium BM little blood

3 PM Sediment

9:45 PM lots of Blood and sediment

Aloha Healing 9/17/2015

moon waxKû Pau
Māhoe Hope 17

Getting back into the routine of life back home. Some powerful gifts came my way.

Gift Ecology

One of my meditator/Adyashanti friends offered to give me $5000 for the deductible for my insurance, so I could start getting treatments paid for by the plan. She also offered free energetic healings and her partner is giving me free qigong healings.

Saw my roommate and talked to him about the trip to Hawaii. He wanted to know how I have been monitoring the tumor. I said that I was researching ways to monitor, but haven’t found anything sustainable. I told him how one test cost $500.

“I don’t have a lot of money, Kozo. But I will give you $500 if it will help you assess your progress,” he said.

I am just amazed how people are offering whatever they have to help me on this journey. It really makes me believe in the gift ecology that I am trying to practice.

Divine Text Message

Another friend sends me beautiful photos via text message. She knows I love clouds, so she sent me a cloud photo with the caption, “Look Up!”

I looked up and took this photo.

cloud photoI like how it puts into perspective man-made obstructions to the Divine. It helps me realize that in the larger picture, this tumor is a tiny man-made obstruction in hands of the Divine.

Facebook Heaven

I got some feedback from the workshop I gave in Hawaii via facebook.

“Yesterday was one of the most beautiful days in my life… 🙏🏻
Thank you Makala Kozo Hattori to share with us your healing experience with Aloha Spirit…
I am so grateful for this opportunity, to be part of your workshop and to learn more about this powerfull way to live our lifes…Live with Aloha. Everywhere, Everytime with Everyone… 🙏🏻

A – Akahai, meaning kindness (grace)
L – Lokahi, meaning unity (unbroken)
O – ‘Olu’olu, meaning agreeable (gentle)
H – Ha’aha’a, meaning humility (empty)
A – Ahoniu, meaning patience (waiting for the moment)
‪#‎aloha‬ ‪#‎alohaspirit‬ ‪#‎livealoha‬ ‪#‎workshop‬ ‪#‎imsograteful‬ ‪#‎amazingday‬ ‪#‎lucktoliveinhawaii‬ ‪#‎lifeisbetterinhawaii‬”

Love all the emoticons and the hashtags at the end. #imsograteful

Home Awakenings

Attended Awakin Circle last night and basked in the circle wisdom. One participant shared that he stopped asking “Why me?” and started asking “What is the blessing in this event?” Another in the circle talked about his failure pruning a tree. He said that in the end, he realized that his job was to nurture and water the tree, not cut or control it. Great perspective on botany and cancer.

One of the regulars shared how she refused conventional medicine with a debilitating disease. After years of alternative treatment, she just got test results back that made her doctor view healing through new eyes.


Started making some raw food that excites me. The salad I made yesterday tasted healthy, nourishing, and joyful. Starting to see how I can enjoy this very spartan diet of raw veggies and grains.

diversity poster


Did a full morning movement/prayer with qigong walking. A participant from the Los Altos workshop emailed me and inquired about joining me for morning rituals. I’m excited to share this daily practice with someone else and get motivation to wake up earlier.


Watched an episode of “The Truth About Cancer” dvd series that Mandy gifted to me in Hawaii. One doctor talked about clearing emotional trauma. He said the same thing that my Hawaiian healer told me: You need to ask yourself why the cancer appeared where it did and when it did.

I still must be holding onto some kūkae (crap). Another doctor said that one bad thought can keep you in disease more than any bad diet. I’m trying not to have any bad thoughts–towards the teachers at my sons’ school; towards crabby people; towards inconsiderate people; towards loved ones and members of my family.

This doctor said that we take on emotional baggage from our mothers and fathers in the womb. Then in the first two years of our lives huge amounts of emotional trauma are passed onto us.

Reminds me to do more inner child healing sessions with Leyna. I’m also going to talk to my mom about what was going on when I was in the womb and the first two years of my life.


Lots of intense dreaming at night. I wake up with a light sweat.

I’m also drawn to sound healing. Started playing the ukulele again. Music and laughter are two things I want to increase in my life.

Kūkae (BM)

Slight tapering of blood. Still red sediment at the bottom of the toilet, but a lot less blood. Not a lot of kūkae, but this is understandable since yesterday I cleared a lot with 4 major BMs. Started using 11.5 ph water to dampen toilet paper. I think the real trick will be to do some 11.5 enemas, maybe combined with coffee.

Name Change

Some of you might notice that I changed the name of my postings from “Aloha Cancer” to “Aloha Healing.” Part of this has to do with me sensing into not having cancer anymore. I also don’t want to make cancer the focus of this blog or my life. I want to focus on the larger picture–the clouds, the Divine, the healing.

Aloha Cancer 9/8/2015

waxing crescentKāloa Pau
Māhoe Mua 8

This morning I got dropped off at San Jose Airport at 6 AM for a 9 AM flight to Honolulu, so i decided to do my morning prayers and exercises in the waiting lounge. I picked an empty area no where near my gate and started my prayers.

As I started the movements, I notices someone approaching me out of the corner of my eye, but I ignored them, trying to focus. Finally, I had to look up at this large man who was smiling at me. It turned out to be a high school friend who happened to be flying out to Florida with his family.

He had heard about my diagnosis, so he asked how things were going. When I said that I was just doing alternative therapies, his wife chimed in and said I should talk to their neighbor. Turns out that they live next to a well-known naturopath who specializes in medicinal marijuana.

The funny thing is that when I had told my Hawaiian healing teacher about my diagnosis, she also suggested medical marijuana. Looks like I might be getting high soon. haha. Actually, the marijuana that they prescribe doesn’t get one high.

When I landed in Hawaii, I breathed in the moist air and felt nourished. I thought about how just being on this island was healing, until I took a lungful of jet fuel odor. I’ll bet that being in natural Hawaii is extremely healing. Unfortunately, it is getting harder and harder to find pristine Hawaiian lands nowadays.


Had to turn down everything on the plane. Amazing how anti-anti-cancer the meals they serve on the plane are–tons of sugar, no vegetables, lots of protein rich foods. Luckily, when I landed, my auntie took me to a health food store where I found some organic salads, including a taro vegan potato salad. Yum.


Just my morning prayers and exercise. A little qigong walking to the terminal gate.


Talked with a number of friends and relatives in Hawaii and felt a tremendous amount of Aloha and peace. Got a sweet phone message from Beryl and the boys.


Talked with my Uncle’s niece who teaches Hawaiian Language at Punahou Schools (the school Obama went to). We talked about spirituality, Christianity, and Hawaiian healing. She invited me to a Hawaiian bible study on Friday. So excited to partake in this powerful experience of reading the Bible in Hawaiian.


Bleeding seems to be tapering off. Had some large BMs today, relatively speaking. It “feels” like the tumor is smaller since I don’t have that uncomfortable feeling when I have a BM. Alison said something that really resonated with me: “Maybe it would be possible to reframe other small indicators of the illness in a different more positive way so they are not about illness but simply about the body’s needs in the moment.” I realized that there are larger processes going on in my body and spirit that need time and space. I can’t judge every drop of blood as an indicator of my health and recovery. Thanks, Alison.

Guest Post: RARASAUR!!!!!!

Got a letter from Rara today asking me to publish this post because Grayson has had trouble getting internet access. Feel free to re-blog or send to anyone who knows Rara and her plight.

I skyped with a dinosaur!

How I’ve missed this icon on the blogosphere

The Space Between

There’s a cold science to the warm observance of art. Fancy galleries and museums all over the world apply careful calculations to the placement of viewing-benches and lights. It is a detailed symphony of diagonals and distance, measured to accompany the artistry and elevate the experience of beauty. At a certain angle, from a certain number of steps away, even your favorite masterpiece could look unappealing, or downright ugly, or worse–simply quiet. Can you even fathom the travesty of such a fate? To have something silenced by the space between when it could have spoken to you and shared its ageless secrets with the very insides of your soul? Such is the power of distance.

Anything can look gross from up close, but if you look even closer, most things become wondrous once again. It is an issue of science and the computations required to discover the perfect perspective.

For someone like me, life is as much about the observations as it is about the experiences. (It’s not that I don’t have a little adventurer in my heart–it’s that I have a giant scientist sitting on top of her.) I am constantly calibrating my perspective–growing and shrinking the space between myself and my observations with a dexterity evolved from life-long practice. The decision to look closer or step farther is a crafted science I learned from my father, but the act of doing so is an art I picked up from my mom. I continue to study the science, and act the art into existence. The goal is not to change reality, hide from truth, or eradicate the acknowledgement of all the world’s bad–but to shift a paradigm and to remember that everything under the sun has a place and purpose.

Rara quote

How it affects us on the outside is often unavoidable, but we can control how it speaks to our insides. We can translate it–changing what is whispered into a language that creates our best selves, and a landscape of our best possibility. Language is our legacy, after all–and, much like perspective, is a melody of science and art.

Today, the sun set over me. Her rays warmed the air and her shimmering power stilled the clouds. Fragments of orange and silky webs of red-purple shot around in all directions, kissing the ground with pink light. The sun herself glorified in the show–radiating inward as much as outward–reveling in her great celestial roundness and yawning into her cosmic nap.

Below her, on the dusty plateau around me, a baby jackrabbit chased a pale green apple, paying no mind to the schedules of stars. He tried to capture the fruit, but its size was too great for such small eager hands and it would simply roll away. The little rabbit didn’t seem to mind the chase–the treasured green prize was more than worth a weary hunt. A hundred feet above his tall ears and grand adventures, a bird flew in circles, stretching her wings and enjoying this brief moment of time where her wingspan was larger than the sun. She sang loudly, and her whistled song was about her freedom from everyone and her ownership of all the world. No one contested her tune or argued her claim, because no one could. Hers is a freedom that lives in her heart and an ownership of possibility that lives in her mind–and she is the only one who has power or providence there, in her insides, where the truth of her lives.

I mimicked her whistle and she approved–acknowledging my heart’s freedom with a proud slant of her head. I nodded back and caught another glimpse of the little rabbit. He was focused on apples and even less interested in whistled freedoms than in the mapping patterns of magnificent stars. I let myself absorb the secrets of the Sleeper, the Hunter, and the Singer. It required no shift of diagonal or distance because beauty such as theirs needs no elevation. Anyone who looks or listens will experience full measure of their truths–the sun’s faith in the sanctity of cycles, the rabbit’s dedication to the purity of the present moment, and the bird’s reminder that every soul is as free as it believes itself to be. I filled my mind with their wisdoms and carried the inspiration with me–down the pathway, past the guards, through the gates, and into my prison cell…

where I continued to whistle the song of my freedom.

Such is the power of perspective and beauty.



animation of sun

NOT Getting Hugged by Amma

Amma at StanfordOn Monday, I went to a Conversation on Compassion with Amma at Stanford. Here are a few highlights:

  • “Compassion is the most important factor in life”
  • “Compassion is the first step.  If we can take that step courageously without fear then everything else will follow spontaneously.”
  • “When we have compassion then all the decisions we make and the actions and their results that follow will have a special beauty, spontaneity, and power to it.”
  • “Human’s calculations can always be wrong. But decisions taken from compassion and actions that are compassionate can be never wrong because compassion is a law of nature.”
  • “When we give up the individual mind and tune to the universal mind which happens in compassion, then we can never do anything wrong because it is not us acting, but it is the universal power. Compassion gives us the ability to tune into the universal power.”
  • “When love attains perfection that is when the flower of compassion happens.”


After the conversation, Amma announced that she would give darshan to all the attendees (near 2,000), but she asked that only attendees who have never received a hug come up so Amma could have time to hug everyone who wanted one.

Since I have been getting hugged by Amma since 1999 and I was wearing an “embrace the world” t-shirt that I bought at Amma’s ashram, I knew that I should remain seated, but I REALLY wanted to get a hug from Amma–especially when I saw that they were giving large gift bags to all who received a hug.

Unfortunately, during her talk Amma said that there are three types of people.

  • The first type of person–what they get they eat.
  • The second kind of person–what they get they eat and they also try to take the other person’s food and eat that as well.
  • The third kind of person–whatever they get, they eat a part of it then give the rest to others around them.

I knew that if I went to get a hug, I would be taking from someone else, so I forced myself to refrain from getting a hug.

But something wonderful happened. As I watched Amma hug others, the craving and jealousy drained out of me and was replaced with sympathetic joy (mudita). I saw the glowing faces of the people walking off the stage, and I could feel their joy and gratitude which somehow became my joy and gratitude. I got a taste of the universal mind and power that Amma was talking about.

It was the best non-hug that I have ever received.

Have you ever felt empathic joy? Please share.


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